Intrepid Post pet reporter, Sniffer, gets the bottom of the street dog scene with this in-depth interview with former house pet, Copernicus.

SNIFFER: Well Copernicus, the PAWS gala event was an absolute smash wasn�t it?
COPERNICUS: What a great party Sniff�s. Super food, great wine, loads of pedigrees and strays roaming around, all different breeds, having an absolute ball. And, of course, the whole evening managed to raise a good wedge of cash for the cause! So, to all the sponsors and those who donated prizes � Ta muchly.

S: I hope you went steady on the wine�.?
C: Well, luckily, I didn�t have to drive home. Come to think of it, I never do � so I was able to �ave the odd nip.

S: You mean dogs can actually drink alcohol? What are the effects, and is it good or bad?
C: Well, technically � yes, we can drink alcohol, if it�s offered. The effects, however, can be disastrous so I�d really advise against filling your pooches bowl with Singha. But in the main, alcohol affects us in pretty much the same way as it affects you, only quicker and with more potency.

I�d tell you a couple of stories, but there for another publication � not a classy read like the Post. And speaking of alcohol, why do they call it Alcoholic�s Anonymous anyway? The first thing you do is stand up and say �Hi, my name is Bob and I�m an alcoholic.� Not very anonymous, really.

S: Hmmm. Good point. Sounds like a voice of experience there Copernicus.
C: No comment.

S: Back to PAWS. The money raised from the annual dinner will go towards more sterilisations and other treatments. Perhaps you could give us a dog�s perspective on spaying and neutering.
C: It�s a brilliant idea. I can have all the fun I want, with as many local bitches as I please. These people should be given medals for their work.

S: So you�re not the paternal kind then?
C: Nope. Plus the fact, for my money, there are too many unwanted dogs and cats, young and old, roaming the streets in a pretty poor state. I don�t just mean here in Phuket, you may be surprised to hear this is a global problem.

Controlling populations not only helps reduce the problems caused by overpopulation, but also raises the welfare status of the animals involved. Of course, you humans might want to consider some sort of population control too � you�ve got more of an issue than we do.

If you have any questions or queries for Copernicus, or any other of our interviewees, please email sniffer@phuket-animal-welfare.com